Untamed Hearts at the Zoo – Walrus Penis and Bifurcated Possum Vagina Included!

Date Dined: February 15, 2014

Rating: 4 Stars

Jess and I agreed long ago that we just have too much junk. It definitely doesn’t stop us from buying each other more junk, but we’ve been trying to get better. Jess loves the zoo and she loves wine so untamed hearts seemed like a great deal.

We pulled up to the south parking lot at 6 pm and made the short walk across the bride. I didn’t see anyone standing there or any signs so at first I thought I had read the instructions wrong. Much to my surprise and delight as we stepped up a man in a 6 seater golf cart pulled up, handed us a blanket, and we were on our way.

The dinner itself was held at the lakeside café and they did a surprisingly nice job of dressed it up. Jessica and I actually considered this as one of our wedding venues, but they had a few too many rules for us (which is understandable considering the animals). So it was like getting to see what our wedding could have been like.

After checking in we were seated at our private, numbered table. Note to people who attend this event in the future, the little flower on the plate is not white chocolate, it is butter. I know that they place a red foil wrapped heart chocolate next to it, but you should not try to eat the butter like chocolate (cough Jess cough).

We hit up the cash bar, a whiskey sour for me and a Riesling for Jess. For zoo booze it wasn’t bad. The whiskey sour was strong enough for me to taste it and the Riesling was only slightly overly sweet.

Passed hors d’oeuvres were circulated  by our table. The first was a slice of andouille sausage wrapped in a fillo dough which was delicious, I mean how can you go wrong with that. Next smoked salmon drizzled with coriander crème and placed on a cucumber slice which was also delicious. I probably had eight of these. Finally, sea scallops and pepper on a crostini. The sea scallops were a little bland as were the peppers, but that was fine. The most disappointing thing was the bread which was stale. The original e-mail said that they would have artichoke and feta tarts  which also sounds delicious, but that’s okay.

Around 7:00, one of the zoologists showed up at our table with a possum pelt and pictures of possum penises. He was a delightfully eccentric elderly gentlemen. Apparently Jess also knows far more about possum penises than one customarily would. On the other side of the room, I saw another zoologist carrying around a large walrus penis bone.

At 7:30 promptly wine was poured and our salads were brought out: mixed greens with pumpernickel croutons, scotch eggs and warm bacon dressing. The dressing was far and above the best part of the salad. The lettuce was a little wilted, the croutons were soggy and tough at the same time, and the scotch egg was cold. Obviously it had been sitting in a refrigerator for a few hours and taken out right before serving. But, again, I’m just nitpicking.

At this point, I would say the only hiccup in the night reared its ugly head. We were the first to be served our salads, but the last to be served our entrees. As a result, we had a long period of watching other people get their food before we were served ours.

For dinner I had the grilled beef tenderloin served with a large latka, and grilled asparagus with what tasted like a balsamic reduction on the side. I wasn’t asked how I’d like my steak cooked, nor did I expect to be because of the nature of the dinner, but I was happy it was medium rare. The steak was pleasant tender and quite a large cut (I would say maybe 10 ounces). I’ve grown weary of plated dinners as the food as never quite up to snuff, but I would say this came close. My only complaint about my meal is that I would have loved some more of that reduction to dip my steak into. (I had a brain fart during the entree and forgot to photograph it, so my apologies)

Jess had the potato wrapped sea bass with grated potatoes and asparagus. Her sea bass was likewise light, flaky, and moist and the portion was generous. I only had a spoonful, but she seemed to enjoy it greatly.

Dessert was both a ricotta cheesecake with blueberries in a raspberry coulis and a flourless chocolate cake with heart shaped meringue. The cheesecake was far and above the winner here. The ricotta gave it a certain flavor and lightness that was truly delicious. Don’t get me wrong, the flourless cake was tasty, but it was a little heavy, almost like eating a brick of fudge. On the plus side, it was a dark chocolate which I love.

After dinner we were given a pleasant and surprisingly raunchy presentation on the mating habits of various animals in comparison to romantic stereotypes. For example, did you know that bonobos are surprisingly charismatic? The presentation was corny, funny, and informative.

The night was very pleasant as we were given the remainder of our bottle of wine and a sackful of Bissinger’s milk chocolates as parting gifts. We also might have stolen our floral centerpiece but then again who’s to say?

Another cart was there to take us back to the entrance to the zoo and we were on our way, full and content. I would give two definite thumbs up to attending untamed hearts as a couple or a grouping of people (of which there were a few).