Date Dined: June 20, 2014
Overall Rating: 3 stars
My
little brother was in town, he was in the mood for pub food, and I had a $75.00
gift card burning a hole in my pocket so we decided to hit up Three Kings.
After taking a look at the menu online, I was excited to try this place out.
Little did I know what was awaiting me.
Décor Rating:
3.5 Stars
They
really nailed the pub theme with this place. As you can see you’ve got the
booths, the bar seats, an extra dining area in back (not pictured), and a few
T.V.s. What I appreciated was that the televisions were situated in a place
where almost everyone could see them, but they wouldn’t distract if you didn’t
want to look at them. I really enjoyed how spacious the booths were. You could
easily have fit four people in there, and five people that aren’t my size would
have plenty of space as well. Good job Three Kings!
Service Rating:
3.5 Stars
When
we entered we were seated promptly and a large empty bottle of water was
instantly brought out for us. I will say that I wish that the water had been
chilled or our glasses had been filled with ice since the inside of the
restaurant was a little warm, but it wasn’t a deal breaker. In fact, everything
up to when the food was served was pretty fantastic. I think the only criticism
I had was that no one ever came by to ask us how the food was. Now I’ll never
complain if the food isn’t what I expected it to be, but I still appreciate the
obligatory, how are things? We were just never asked, which is kind of weird.
Otherwise, no complaints. Not fine dining, but what you expect from a pub.
Price Rating: 3
Stars
Average
pricing, wings are about $10.00, burgers range from $9.00 to $13.00, and
entrees are $12.00 or more. On first glance, I’d probably give the prices a
higher rating, but when compared with the food I think some things are
overpriced. I’ll get into it below, but yeah, just a little expensive for what
the meal ended up being. Our three top with a round of drinks, two entrees, and
two appetizers spent close to $100.00 with tip.
Food Rating: 2
Stars
From
my experience I will say this. If you go, get the appetizers and just the
appetizers. Granted we obviously didn’t try ever entrée on the menu, but the
ones we did try were just tasteless. Not completely, but enough so that after
the appetizers we kept on joking that it was like solid water. I’ll explain
below.
We
started the night out with the mussels and wings. The wings are a solid choice
at this place. They’re thickly breaded kind of in the style of Chinese hot
braised wings. Between the Three Kings’ signature sauce and the Spicy Thai I’d
have to say the Thai won out. It was just a more complex sauce with both sweet
and spicy tones. The mussels were okay, but the garlic was kind of mild. Still,
each mussel had meat inside of it which is more than I can say for a lot of
places, and there was a full bowl of them served up to us. If we had ended the
meal here I’d probably give this place at least one extra star.
As
an avid lover of all things meat patty, I of course ordered the burger. But not
just any burger, the Pogue Mahone. A hamburger covered with a fried egg, bacon,
carmelized onions, sautéed shrooms, swiss and cheddar cheese on a pretzel bun.
Sounds delicious right? Well it would have been if there had been some more
taste to it. Imagine that everything comes out with the mouthfeel and texture
you expect, but when you bite into it, it tastes like it was boiled first. That’s
how all our dishes tasted! When you bit into it there was a faint taste of egg,
meat, and bacon, but that was it. Even the pretzel bun and sweet potato fries
lacked a strong distinctive taste.
My
brother’s gyro sliders and Jess’s shrimp po’boy were much the same. The gyro
meat was a little dry, like it had been baked, but there was just no taste to
the damn thing. None of the signature creamy cucumber and yogurt goodness of
the tzatziki or of the slightly sweet taste of feta cheese. The po’boy tasted
like batter without any salt, plus there was just too much batter and too
little shrimp for my tastes. They weren’t inedible, they just didn’t really
appeal.
Now,
a rationale person might think, Chris,
couldn’t it have been that the wings just overpowered your sense of taste?
Well no person. In fact, I took a few bites of each dish home with me and ate
them first thing in the morning and they still didn’t have any taste to them.
In fact, one of the neighbors was over and had a small bite and he said the
same thing. “It tastes like meat with no seasoning whatsoever.” IT’S WEIRD!
In Conclusion
Three
Kings has some pretty tasty wings, and a nice beer selection. If you’re looking
for a place in the loop to just hang out then it’s not a bad choice. Plus it’s
right next door to a Rocket Fizz shop! But stay away from the entrees. One day
I might return and give it another try, but I just can’t see that day in my
near future.
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