Three Kings – It’s Like You’re Eating Nothing!

Date Dined: June 20, 2014

Overall Rating: 3 stars

My little brother was in town, he was in the mood for pub food, and I had a $75.00 gift card burning a hole in my pocket so we decided to hit up Three Kings. After taking a look at the menu online, I was excited to try this place out. Little did I know what was awaiting me.

Décor Rating: 3.5 Stars

They really nailed the pub theme with this place. As you can see you’ve got the booths, the bar seats, an extra dining area in back (not pictured), and a few T.V.s. What I appreciated was that the televisions were situated in a place where almost everyone could see them, but they wouldn’t distract if you didn’t want to look at them. I really enjoyed how spacious the booths were. You could easily have fit four people in there, and five people that aren’t my size would have plenty of space as well. Good job Three Kings!

Service Rating: 3.5 Stars

When we entered we were seated promptly and a large empty bottle of water was instantly brought out for us. I will say that I wish that the water had been chilled or our glasses had been filled with ice since the inside of the restaurant was a little warm, but it wasn’t a deal breaker. In fact, everything up to when the food was served was pretty fantastic. I think the only criticism I had was that no one ever came by to ask us how the food was. Now I’ll never complain if the food isn’t what I expected it to be, but I still appreciate the obligatory, how are things? We were just never asked, which is kind of weird. Otherwise, no complaints. Not fine dining, but what you expect from a pub.

Price Rating: 3 Stars

Average pricing, wings are about $10.00, burgers range from $9.00 to $13.00, and entrees are $12.00 or more. On first glance, I’d probably give the prices a higher rating, but when compared with the food I think some things are overpriced. I’ll get into it below, but yeah, just a little expensive for what the meal ended up being. Our three top with a round of drinks, two entrees, and two appetizers spent close to $100.00 with tip.

Food Rating: 2 Stars

From my experience I will say this. If you go, get the appetizers and just the appetizers. Granted we obviously didn’t try ever entrée on the menu, but the ones we did try were just tasteless. Not completely, but enough so that after the appetizers we kept on joking that it was like solid water. I’ll explain below.

We started the night out with the mussels and wings. The wings are a solid choice at this place. They’re thickly breaded kind of in the style of Chinese hot braised wings. Between the Three Kings’ signature sauce and the Spicy Thai I’d have to say the Thai won out. It was just a more complex sauce with both sweet and spicy tones. The mussels were okay, but the garlic was kind of mild. Still, each mussel had meat inside of it which is more than I can say for a lot of places, and there was a full bowl of them served up to us. If we had ended the meal here I’d probably give this place at least one extra star.

As an avid lover of all things meat patty, I of course ordered the burger. But not just any burger, the Pogue Mahone. A hamburger covered with a fried egg, bacon, carmelized onions, sautéed shrooms, swiss and cheddar cheese on a pretzel bun. Sounds delicious right? Well it would have been if there had been some more taste to it. Imagine that everything comes out with the mouthfeel and texture you expect, but when you bite into it, it tastes like it was boiled first. That’s how all our dishes tasted! When you bit into it there was a faint taste of egg, meat, and bacon, but that was it. Even the pretzel bun and sweet potato fries lacked a strong distinctive taste.

My brother’s gyro sliders and Jess’s shrimp po’boy were much the same. The gyro meat was a little dry, like it had been baked, but there was just no taste to the damn thing. None of the signature creamy cucumber and yogurt goodness of the tzatziki or of the slightly sweet taste of feta cheese. The po’boy tasted like batter without any salt, plus there was just too much batter and too little shrimp for my tastes. They weren’t inedible, they just didn’t really appeal.

Now, a rationale person might think, Chris, couldn’t it have been that the wings just overpowered your sense of taste? Well no person. In fact, I took a few bites of each dish home with me and ate them first thing in the morning and they still didn’t have any taste to them. In fact, one of the neighbors was over and had a small bite and he said the same thing. “It tastes like meat with no seasoning whatsoever.” IT’S WEIRD!

In Conclusion

Three Kings has some pretty tasty wings, and a nice beer selection. If you’re looking for a place in the loop to just hang out then it’s not a bad choice. Plus it’s right next door to a Rocket Fizz shop! But stay away from the entrees. One day I might return and give it another try, but I just can’t see that day in my near future.

Roper’s Ribs – Only Something Delicious Would Make Me Risk My Life Like This

Date Dined: June 11, 2014

Overall Rating: 2.5 stars (4 for snoots)

Nestled right next the Jenning’s municipal court is a little known place for people not in North Saint Louis called Roper’s Ribs. In fact, this is the only reason that I looked forward to going to Jenning’s municipal court.

“Why would you look so forward to going here Chris?” You might ask after seeing my low rating of the place.

“For one reason my beautiful friend,” I’d respond. “The snoots.”

Décor Rating: 1.5 stars

There is no décor. In addition the parking lot is sketchy as hell. Call in and place your order before you get there. Then get out of there as fast as possible. But seriously, the waiting area looks like the inside of a Quik Cash place and there are limited seating options, and you’d probably feel more comfortable in your own home anyways

Service Rating: 4 stars

On the other hand the Ropers are fantastic people who are super friendly and willing to talk to you for hours. Ma Roper is usually at the cash register waiting to greet you with a smile. The food orders do take a hot second to process which is again why you call in ahead of time.

Price Rating: 2 stars

This place is expensive. 3 beef ribs at $14.00, a slab of baby back ribs at $25.00, a rib tip order at $19.50. This place is expensive.

Food Rating:

Roper’s is your traditional wet BBQ joint. Whatever you order will come out swimming in sauce, and the sauce is pretty meh. We’re talking heavily ketchup based, tangy, and very liquid. The meat is guaranteed to be tender enough that you can chew through it, but not so tender you could pull it off with a fork. I would say it’s something you could do at home in your own oven.

So why this place? The snoots! Called so because they’re cut from the nose and cheek of the pig. The meat is then cooked until it’s crispy. Think cracklins but softer. Every bite you’re going to get a little taste of some delicious crispy fat. After being smothered in BBQ these puppies are brought out hot and then promptly devoured. If you love unhealthy things then this is the dish for you. This dish and this dish alone is why I look forward to Ropers. If another place swoops in and does it better I might have to stop venturing into the uncertain North. Sides are nothing special, grocery store potato salad and beans, white wonder bread, like I said, nothing fantastic.

In Conclusion

If you want any other sort of BBQ that isn’t wet style with a ketchup base then pass on Ropers, unless you want the Snoots. Mmmm snoots.

SNOOTS!

Black Dog Smoke and Ale House – Apparently Dinner is Better?

Date Dined: June 14, 2014

Overall Rating: 3.5 Stars

Champaign-Urbana is almost half way between Saint Louis and Northern Chicago. As such, it’s a popular meeting spot for Jess and I to see her family. This is one such meeting.

A few weeks before the wedding we figured that I ought to meet Jessica’s father. So a plan was hatched! I must admit our first visit to Black Dog did not inspire me to return. Nothing was awful, but everything was below average. We voiced our concerns and this time we were promised that if we ate there for dinner instead of lunch it would be better. Despite this statement confusing us we decided to put our faith in her family and they were right! Upon hindsight I’ve decided that it’s likely they use their meat from the day before for lunch and as a result it’s just not as good.

Décor: 3.5 Stars

Black dog’s insides aren’t anything special, but they are clean which is more than I can say for a majority of places I’ve eaten at. As you can see, mostly dark wood, with a narrow walk-way between the bar and the booths along the wall. There were about 4 tall tables where we were sitting (the vantage point the picture was taken at). The only things that patrons should be on the lookout for are the lack of waiting space, and the limited bathroom accommodations. There is almost no room inside to wait for a meal so on very hot or cold days you might want to avoid this place during rush hours. There’s also only one bathroom respectively for men and women so I wouldn’t wait until things are about to burst out of you to head that way.

Price: 3 Stars

The price is a little high considering it’s situated near a college town and the amount of food you get for the price. For example, I ordered the 2 meat combo with a ¼ of a slab of ribs and the burnt ends. It also came with 2 sides so I was looking forward to a sizeable meal. Instead I was greeted by 3 ribs (I guess slabs are smaller in Urbana?) and a golf ball sized serving of burnt ends. All for $13.00 plus tax. It’s not highway robbery, but it’s definitely on the more expensive side considering how much food you get.

Service: 3.5 Stars

No complaints here. A server greeted us within 10 minutes of sitting, (tall, good-looking guy too). Food came out promptly as well as drinks. He didn’t ask us how everything was, but I’m not looking for black tie service at places like these.

Food: 3.5 Stars

Now for the moment that you all tune in, the food review. I will start out by saying that Black Dog does not lack for alcohol selection. Dozens of beers adorn their menu, a tall double-sided cocktail menu greets you, and a summer special drink menu is just to your left. Jess opted for a Bell’s Oberon (she’s a classy girl, what can I say), and I went for the homemade summer shandy. My drink was delightfully girly, with the right mix of strawberry lemonade and beer. Moreso it was just refreshing and I would suggest you order one yourself.

Next, I ordered a house salad with chipotle vinaigrette dressing. I was delighted to find that the mix was full of dark greens and colorful endives. The dressing was similarly refreshing with just a touch of heat and well balanced with the vinaigrette. Good job Black Dog.

Each of us ordered a little something different so we could get a re-try of everything. Of course, I ordered the ribs and followed that up with an order of burnt ends. My sides were the potato casserole and the smoked sweet potato (look at that thing, it’s gigantic, it looks like my meat is trying to hide from it). The burnt ends were very moist and tender, but also very fatty. Unfortunately they lacked any of the signature charring that a burnt ends dish is supposed to have. The ribs were tender enough, but not fall off the bone. They almost tasted like they had been sitting in an oven for awhile, and I might have thought they were oven ribs if it weren’t for the intense smoky flavor. The sauce was fine, a little more ketchupy then I generally prefer, but okay. The sweet potato unfortunately could have used a side of brown sugar. It was well cooked and nice and soft on the inside, but the potato itself wasn’t very sweet. The potato casserole on the other hand was incredibly satisfying with a nice brown crust on the top and mashed up chunks of potato on the inside.

Jess went Salmon sandwich and it was surprisingly good. The meat was flaky and tender, but it did lack any sense of individual seasoning. The sauce and coleslaw on top were a little overpowering. If I were them I would put it on the side and let the diner assemble it, it was a little heavy handed for the dish. Still she seemed to enjoy it and it gave the semblance of being healthy. I have to admit the mouthfeel was a little off for me, almost like the salmon had a grainy taste to it. I guess you can't really complain about fish at a BBQ restaurant. The sweet potato fries were tasty but nothing special. My guess would be store bought, but again still tasty.

Another of our diners ordered the beef brisket with the pulled pork and a side of the Black Dog corn bread. The pulled pork left something to be desired. It was middle of the line. I did appreciate that they didn’t slather it in sauce to try and get it more tender, but it was just not mouth water enough for me to order it again. The brisket was quite good and I think their best meat. Nice and juicy with just that little bit of fat on the end that people love. Not too smoky either which helped you appreciate the meat’s natural flavor. The cornbread I really enjoyed despite my aversion to green chiles. This thing was supposed to be filled with green chiles, pit beans, cheese and pulled pork which might make you think it was extremely moist. Nah. Instead it’s more of a brick quality and crumbles in your hand. Like I said, I still enjoyed it, but I can see that other people might not.

In Conclusion

Black dog might be the best BBQ Champaign has to offer up and it’s not a place that I would turn my nose up at, but people best watch themselves when they throw around the phrase “best BBQ ever”. I actually heard this quite a few times when I was standing outside. Either those people have never had BBQ before or… well no… that would be the only reason people would say that…

Tuckers – Mmmm Soooo Good

Date Dined: June 7, 2014

Overall Rating: 4.0 Stars

Of all the steak places, in all the town, in all the world, this is one of my favorites. It’s hard to name something bad about Tuckers. What is there not to like? The friendly service? The affordable steaks? The cozy atmosphere? Well okay the mixed drinks are pretty bad, but there’s plenty of beers to choose from. The sign on the outside says Tucker’s a place for steak and that is an apt description for you will dine on delicious steaks whenever you go.

Décor Rating: 4.5 Stars

Tuckers is a converted house in Soulard and they’ve done amazing things with the space. What used to be I assume a parlor or living room is now a downstairs dining area. Upstairs you’ll find a wide open floor plan. Walking in gives you a definite Cheers vibe. Not to light inside, but not dark and murky. Weird portraits of long deceased people adorn the walls and the furniture all looks well used. And I love it!

Service Rating: 4.0 Stars

I have never had bad service here. From the hostesses to the servers to the bartender everyone knows their business. Beware they do have two rules. One, they won’t seat you until your entire party is there (although they’ve bent this on occasion when I asked nicely). Two, they don’t take reservations for parties less than 8. But I’ve never had a wait that took longer than thirty minutes even on a Saturday and it just gave me time to down another beer at the bar.

When you’re sat your server will greet you promptly and you’ll have a drink in front of you in five minutes or less. Everything comes out right on time from the bread to the salad to your steak. It’s not fancy, just homey and wonderful. If you just want to sit and talk they’ll let you do that to. Every time I’ve been out with a friend and we’ve chatted for awhile our server has actually come back to check on us every thirty minutes or so without judgment.

Price Rating: 4.0 Stars

You can’t find a better deal for a delicious steak. We’re talking Texas Roadhouse prices and no extra charge for the deliciousness. Let me just say this. For about $20.00 to $25.00 you can walk away satisfied and sometimes with extra leftovers, and that’s a price you can’t beat. Objectively, this isn’t a wallet friendly meal, but subjectively considering how good the steak and potato you’re getting a steal.

Food Rating: 4.0 Stars

Tucker’s actually has a pretty decent sized menu. I’ve had the pizza in the past and it’s a nice thin crust plentiful on the toppings and the size. The potato skins are tasty tater filled appetizers with just the right amount of cheddar cheese and bacon. Even the grilled shrimp, although a little dry, is pretty good. I guess my point is whatever you go with you won’t be disappointed.

But if you go, you’re probably getting the steak which is what this review is all about. Dinner comes with a salad, a steak, and a baked potato that you can “load” with sour cream, bacon, and green onions (just do it). My salad, although it doesn’t look like much, is actually pretty delicious. It’s obviously a pre-packaged salad mix, with bacon bits, red onion, cherry tomatoes, and some cheese, but it’ll stave off the hunger until your entrée. What makes it unique is Tucker’s lemon pepper dressing, a slighty sweet, poppy flavored affair that really makes you enjoy what you’re eating.

Now for the steak. Even if you’re used to getting it more on the well side I would recommend maybe relaxing that rule here. I’m a rare to medium rare guy and I think that you can definitely trust the meat here. The one pictured above is a bacon wrapped filet and it was quite nice. It’ll come out with those nice char marks you see with Tucker’s signature steak sauce seared into the meat. The sauce itself is a thick and savory marinade that tastes vaguely like carmelized onions. It’s so very good, it’ll bring tears to your eyes. The potato will likewise cause you to weep. I don’t know what they do to it, but the insides are as soft as mashed potatoes and the flesh is nicely salted (I’m guessing they boil this sucker before baking it).

In Conclusion

If you’re craving a delicious steak and you don’t want to pay premium prices for it check out Tuckers. True, on a Friday or Saturday night in Soulard you’re going to be battling the crowds but it’s worth it. It’s long been one of my favorite joints in Saint Louis, and hopefully it’ll become one of yours. Now, I have heard questionable things about the others locations, but I can vouch for the Soulard spot. See, even the weird imprint my water glass left on the table is happy.